In society, the impact and role of a father outside of financial support is often misrepresented or misunderstood. Many ideals around masculinity, although noble, are too closely tied to the masculine identity – simply put, we expect all men to be great men and operate as if great men should be great at all things.
It has also created false narratives around men and a warped understanding of masculinity.
One of the hardest tasks in the world is raising a child.
Parenting is a multi-faceted, often thankless role, with no guidebook, that needs a heavy financial, emotional and mental commitment. People do not spend the time to discover what skills they need to develop to be a better parent or what traits and principles they want to pass on to the next generation.
The sad reality is that many people don’t know what they’re doing as parents and try to figure it out as they go along. This doesn’t include other forces outside of their control that cause trauma to a child’s development or to the parent.
In a typical nuclear family, fathers traditionally adopt the role of ensuring security, enforcing discipline, validation, social order, providing financial support and upholding principles. They are also the first person of admiration and respect in a child’s life in a way that is different from the mother and just being present in a child’s early life can bring benefits.
The Journal of Social Policy published a study that suggests: “Paternity leave-taking, and taking relatively short leaves (i.e. two weeks or less) in particular, is associated with greater relationship stability.”
Our Today asked people to reveal what they were taught or wish they were taught by their fathers.
Responses: What they wish they learnt
“I wish my father taught me when as a man is it okay to cry.” – Aiden-James Robinson, 29
“I wish my father taught me how to ride a bike or how to drive. I also wish he taught me that not everyone has the best intentions for you.” – Daina Davy, 22
“I wish someone taught me how to preserve a relationship when you don’t know how to open up.” – Duwayne Salmon, 27
“I wish my father told me that it was okay to express myself.” – Anonymous
“I wish my father was more present and instilled the importance of developing a skill early” – Kenoi Smalling, 27
“I wish he taught me more about money management/business management.” – Ducaran Bonnick, 27
“I wish my father believed in me.” – Anonymous
“I wish my father taught me that my passions in life also matter.” – Anonymous
Responses: What they learnt from their fathers
“I get my sense of humour from my father.” – Randy Henry, 26
“I think I’m driven just like my father.” – Rahjae Burton, 26
“My father taught me it’s more important to be someone who tries their best than to need to be right all the time.” – Leeandee Turner, 23
“My father taught me how to approach learning new things.” – Anonymous
“My father taught me how to be fair in an argument, consider the other person’s side but to stand by my position if I think it’s correct.” – Anonymous
“My father taught me to be truthful and fair because things have a way of catching up to you.” – Anonymous
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