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JAM | Feb 1, 2025

Good sex vs Good man: Jamaican women give their opinion

ABIGAIL BARRETT

ABIGAIL BARRETT / Our Today

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Reading Time: 3 minutes
Women gossiping (Photo: pexels.com)

If you had to choose between a man who is good to you or one who is just good in bed, which would it be?

It’s a question that has been a debate among the sexes, especially among Jamaican women navigating contemporary relationships. While some insist that emotional security and respect matter most, others argue that physical satisfaction is just as important. But when forced to choose, which takes priority?

Our Today interviewed women of varying backgrounds and ages. Interviewees had to choose between having a good man or having good sex. They were not able to choose both.

“Good man, definitely, because at the end of the day when you have a lowered libido, or he becomes impotent you’re going to still need a companion,” said Kimberly, age 38.

“In a perfect world, I would choose both, but for me, it’s quite difficult to be in a relationship where the sex is not good… good to me or not, him would get so much bun,” said Debra, age 29. “I would feel guilty about it, but I would have to. What is a relationship without sexual fulfilment? I’d go crazy. Living a life sexually starved just seems like torture.”

(Photo: pexels.com)

“I’d want a good man,” said Julie, age 42. “Sex is a luxury—plus we have been having sex for twenty-five years, what more sex we need?”

“Good man for me, because the way the country set yah now, that’s why so many toxic relationships taking over,” Joyce, age 29. ” These women keep picking the good sex over the good men. To how mi see it, you can always teach a man how to please you, but you can’t teach a man fi be good.”

“Good man, because I want to have a happy life, ” Gina, age 25 said. “Sex is simply not as important.”

“I need the sex to be good,” Kemisha, age 27 shrugged. “Can the man at least be kind of good?”

“Good man, I can sex myself,” said Nicola, age 46. “A good man, for me, is a provider, understands my love language, cares for me, gives me attention, allows me to relax and not be the man in the relationship. He is also trustworthy, makes me feel secure, supports me in achieving my goals and is a man who loves God. Then I can help myself sexually. Cannot imagine getting ‘good’ sex and he cannot do any of the other things.”

“This is a hard one, but I’ll choose a good man,” said Deana, age 29. “Why? Because sex is only one aspect of a relationship and it can be taught… God will help me to appreciate his effort. Also, a good man will not be selfish so he’d be open to learning so all wouldn’t be lost. It’s gonna be a hard choice for some people still, but good man over good sex.”

A woman enjoying her peace. (Photo: pexels.com)

While opinions vary, the responses highlight a fundamental divide in how women approach relationships—some prioritise emotional security and companionship, while others— albeit a surprisingly smaller group believe physical satisfaction is non-negotiable. However, the majority lean toward choosing a good man over good sex, with the belief that intimacy can be improved, but a man’s character is harder to change.

In the end, the choice comes down to personal values and what each woman considers essential for long-term happiness.

Do you have an opinion you would like to share? Send your takes to [email protected] to be featured in a future follow-up article.

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