In October 2019, while playing with her two-year-old daughter, Nicole McDougall felt a lump in her breast. She initially was not overly concerned as she lived a relatively sedentary lifestyle; she would go to work then head straight home, she never smoked, only drank socially and was already making steady progress in her weight loss programme.

She decided to visit her doctor as soon as possible, and an ultrasound was recommended because of how prevalent cancer is in her family. Her aunt, only in her 50s, had just passed earlier that year from breast cancer, like her grandmother before who died from breast cancer at the same age.

By December of that year, the doctors and McDougall knew for certain that, despite being only 34 years old, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

“Tears ran down my face as I read the results. I remember crying while the doctor confirmed it, thinking I was going to die – I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer (aggressive and likely to recur). I cried at work and I had to go home that day,” said McDougall, who would ultimately undergo a mastectomy.

“In the beginning I spent a lot of energy worrying about what was going to happen with my relationship. Was he going to leave? How would he see me? Is he still attracted to me? Was I going to leave? How could I start over? How would a new person see me? I won’t have long hair and big breasts anymore,” said McDougall.

“Before going through treatment, I wouldn’t say my relationship was the best, but during the treatment I grew to understand how much my partner put himself through to keep it together and be strong for me. It wasn’t until after I asked him about what he was going through did he start telling me how often he held back tears,” she said when asked about how her partner handled the ordeal.

“I don’t think our daughter understands much of what has happened to me, but I’m prepared to answer her questions as she gets older.”

“Now I can say I fully know and understand just how much he cared about me and it’s made me appreciate him more as well. He has never made me feel unsupported, like he has any issue with me or my body and I feel 100 per cent comfortable with him and he’s not attracted to me any less, and I’d say we’re even closer now,” she continued.

McDougall said that one of the things that affected her, despite the support she was getting from friends, her partner and family, had to do with clothing.

“Although I was never a big social media person, I enjoyed wearing certain types of clothing but now I’m being forced to be more conscious of what I wear. Dresses that would show some cleavage are just not an option anymore and what’s left feels like it’s made for people that are older. I do feel like I’ve lost some of my youth,” said the cancer survivor.

McDougall shared: “Even though the mastectomy was in July 2020, I’ve still had a hard time letting people know about my cancer. I’m just not very inclined to open up about it because I didn’t want to be pitied or looked at some type of way. Over time though, I’ve been gradually opening up about it and I hope this can let some other person know that cancer is not the end.”