Heartbreak, something many of us know all too well. You are never too young or too old to experience a case of heartbreak and, more often than not, the recovery process can be quite an ordeal. Getting over the love of your life can be done in a couple months and in some instances, a couple of years.

There are common mistakes individuals make while in the process of recovering from a heartbreak, such as watching your ex-partners post, prolonged sulking and conversing with your ex. While it may seem like you may never recover, you will! Trust the process and don’t engage in activities that will cause your progression to stagger.

Here are a few things to bear in mind when nursing a case of heartbreak

1. It is okay to grieve, but not forever

Eating, not eating, listening to depressing music, lying in bed all day, isolation, suffering from depression and crying are normal symptoms of a heartbreak. It is more than okay to grieve your lost partner. This grieving process may take some time, it may last for a couple days, a week or even a couple months. But at some point, you will need to force yourself to overcome this stage and start engaging in activities that once made you happy. Go out with friends, talk to new people, listen to songs that will uplift your mood and focus on positive things.

2. No stalking

Visiting your ex’s social media platforms, or previous conversations you had is a big NO NO! Ever heard the saying ‘Out of sight, out of mind’? It might sound farfetched in a situation such as this, but trust that this concept can be applied and achieved. You do not need to block your partner, that can sometimes come across as being childish, but make deliberate attempts to avoid seeing them, until it becomes second nature. Soon you will have no interest in wanting to know what their life is like. Ensure your friends know not to feed you with information concerning them, as that too is extremely anti-progressive.

3. Keep Yourself Busy

Constantly being on the go is a great distraction when going through a heartbreak. It prevents you from overthinking and causing yourself to feel even more sad and depressed. Find a new hobby, spend time with family, gym, focus your energy on work, watch a series – little things such as these will not give you the time to think about your ex.

4. Be positive

Some tend to take positivity lightly, but, in actuality, it works wonders. Listening to positive people, speaking positivity over yourself and over your life can improve your mental tenfold and this is ultimately what you should aim for. Tell yourself you will be okay today, do things you would never normally do, start your day off with a motivational speech – doing little things like this will set the tone for your day.

5. Socialise

Once you have had your fair share of time to sulk and feel sorry for yourself, the next step is to socialise. Spend time with friends, go to new places and meet new people! Dating is a great way to take your mind off things! While it would be amazing to start dating on a fresh note, often times that will never be the case. Seeing someone else may ultimately be what you need to do to get over what was. It is okay to talk to others in a romantic way while going through the motions, but ensure you inform them where your headspace is – you owe them at least that. For some, it took talking to their current husband/wife to get over the person who held them back from their blessing.

6. End the connection

Do you need to talk? No!

Do you need to check up on each other? No!

Do you need to be friends? Absolutely not!

You don’t need to hold on to the memories or try to recreate the past. If it is over, then it is over! Leave it at that. It is easier said than done, but not impossible!

7. It is okay to forgive and not forget

Forgive others, not because they deserve it but because you deserve peace

Johnathan Huie

Holding on to the baggage that broke you is an unhealthy way to live. You owe it to yourself to have your mind and spirit lightened and one of the best ways to achieve that is by forgiving. You might not be able to forgive immediately, but it can be done and once you get that out of the way, chances are you will feel like your normal self. Forgiving does not mean you will forget and sometimes it is better not to forget, so if your ex comes around again they can’t take your for a simp!

8. Love Yourself

Now that you have the time, focus on you! Take yourself out on dates, get to know who are, accept who you are. Self-love is very important and you owe to the next person who comes along. How can you properly love someone else if you don’t know how to love you?