Coronavirus
JAM | Oct 19, 2021

Psychologist advises on maintaining healthy family relationships during the COVID-19 pandemic

/ Our Today

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Kevin Bailey, Associate Counselling Psychologist at Family Life Ministries, is imploring Jamaicans to maintain a healthy relationship with partners and loved ones throughout the COVID-19 pandemic and beyond.

Bailey, speaking at a recent online session, organised by telecommunications company Flow Jamaica for team members, emphasised that especially while the pandemic rages, it is important to remain emotionally attached to those who play meaningful roles in the family.

He said the pandemic has created fear and stress, which can reflect how family members deal with each other.

Fear, Bailey said, includes concerns about getting, recovering and even dying from the virus, or that loved ones might die. He also reasoned that the insecurities could involve the current situation of hybrid education and the challenges it poses, which affect some children’s ability to achieve their full potential.

With regard to stress, Bailey stated that individuals might become overwhelmed as they seek solutions and without proper management of the factors involved, this could lead to burn-out.

According to Bailey, among the responses to fear and stress are fighting and freezing.

“Do not go into a fighting position with partners, because they are not the enemy. The wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other do not want to fight. The enemy is the pandemic. It is not the partner,” Bailey said.

“Then, do not go into a frozen situation.  That means stonewalling, becoming silent, and not communicating.  One of the things that we have to do as we face this difficult time is, we have to learn every day to ask, ‘How are you feeling? How am I feeling?” he said while encouraging persons to “be honest” in that assessment,”

Kevin Bailey, Associate Counselling Psychologist at Family Life Ministries. (Photo contributed)

“Your feelings are your own and you have to own them because they will tell you what is happening on the inside,” Bailey advised.

He stated that individuals should find something to have faith in, which will help them in overcoming whatever fears and stress they are experiencing. This, Bailey said, is necessary, especially since many partners are currently spending more time together and might find annoyance in each other’s presence.

As a protective shield, Bailey encouraged the Flow team to view their partners as a “blessing”, while “recognising that the love between them is being challenged” during the pandemic.

To support his assertion, he pointed to research that shows, “relationships last with passion, intimacy and commitment” and expounded that both “men and women require certain needs from their partners”.

For women, he said the top five are affection, conversations, openness and honesty, financial security and family commitment, while for the men, they are sexual fulfilment, recreational companionship, attractiveness, domestic manager, and respect and admiration.

As such, Bailey said it is important that individuals schedule time for partners while limiting negative thoughts, which are “now a constant” because of the pandemic.

Kevin Bailey, Associate Counselling Psychologist speaking recently on how families can cope amid the mental demands of the COVID-19 pandemic. The virtual session was organised by telecommunications company, Flow Jamaica. (Photo: YouTube.com)

Parental skills, he said, are now impacted in a bigger way. This, he said, calls for a rethink in strategy where “parents should have the mindset of cherishing their children” while recognizing that they are a blessing, especially as the children are going through the difficult teenage years.

He also advised against “authoritarian, neglectful and permissive parenting”.

“The authoritarian is very unhealthy as the child may grow up to be disciplined in that they are following orders, like a robot, but they don’t get to develop their emotional intelligence,” Bailey reasoned. “They are not good at interpersonal relationships, they don’t feel safe and valued so that they can share their perspective and how they are feeling.”

He said a neglectful parent will lose focus on the child as they are occupied with other things such as work, while the permissive parents allow their children to do whatever they want, without proper guidance.

“The recommended parenting style is authoritative, which is different from authoritarian. Authoritative means, it’s a balance of love and limits. Your child must know that you love him or her. Recognise each child for their value and you balance discipline, which is not about punishment, it’s about training,” Bailey advised.

He told parents to convince their children that they are “loveable, valuable and capable”, while also emphasizing “the importance of family time”.

Bailey was one of several guest presenters during the virtual #FlowSummerTogether series for team members which ran for six weeks and focused on several personal and lifestyle topics including: Maintaining Healthy Relationships; Busting COVID-19 Vaccination Myths; Disaster Preparedness; Physical Activity for Better Wellness; Mental Health Wellness; Maintaining A Healthy Nutrition and Financial Planning.

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