Yesterday (May 22), a funeral was held for popular image consultant and broadcaster Kevin Samuels at the St John Missionary Baptist Church in Oklahoma.
His death at the age of 57, reportedly from a heart attack, was unexpected. He looked fit and virile and the future appeared bright for the popular relationship coach.
News of his demise was met with glee from many who considered him unsympathetic to the plight of African-American women looking to secure a male partner in this 21st Century world. Others were jealous of his success and were only too willing to besmirch his name and reputation after his death.
Pastors who impregnate vulnerable members of their congregation and make money by dubious means, C-list celebrities and female ‘personalities’ well past their sell-by date, heading into a bleak dotage, all delighted in plunging their dagger into his corpse.
Kevin Samuels created something unique. He spoke to an audience widely ignored and championed acknowledgement of self-worth in the male African–American community. He cautioned against women who had squandered their best years leading a sybaritic life (or in popular parlance rode the CC) then seek men of value, insisting they meet their unrealistic requirements.
‘He must be over six foot two, earn a salary well in excess of six figures, own his own house, be able to take me to fantastic overseas destinations, treat me like a queen’. Yet you bring nothing to the table but the detritus of messy life and baggage that would break the broadest of backs.
Time and again, Samuels’ message was disseminated to his 1.4 million YouTube subscribers (36 million views), “You can’t have it all. Life is about choices and trade-offs.”
But his message was not heeded by people all too eager to subscribe to an ‘Instagram’ life in the gilded age.
Samuels saw how phoney that was and called people out. Yes, he could be caustic, and vituperative but he was never obtuse.
The reason why many women became upset was because they knew he was on to them and knew what really was behind the painted veil.
He asked the question that they knew the answer to – “What value do you bring?”
The fact remains not many guys in their prime, or for that matter who have taken years to get into a comfortable position, are prepared to take on a woman with kids by different men, who comes from a dysfunctional family and is saddled by debt- that’s just not a good proposition.
All that does is set you up to become a beast of burden.
Samuels was a champion of the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) movement and became one of its brightest stars.
Many African-American men revered him as the uncle they wish they had.
He was a good broadcaster and I loved his set. (The cricket balls in the transparent vase was a nice touch). Though he did well mining a black audience, he would have succeeded going mainstream. He was articulate, intelligent, opinionated, humorous, and ironic.
I’m sure some of the major networks were keeping tabs on him.
He gave African-American content creators hope that they too can have success speaking on issues that are relevant to their communities and that there isn’t a prescribed way of presenting yourself. You could break all the rules and get away with it.
We now see many more black men following Kevin Samuel’s lead and calling out trite feminism and the wishlist that men are expected to meet.
We all can’t be Sidney Poitier, Denzel Washington or Will Smith. If that’s your requirement then remain on your own.
Kevin Samuels did not denigrate black women. What he did was take a mirror to many and said, take a look? What value does this truly bring?
It can be argued that he was about objectivity over subjectivity.
He called on black men to work hard, invest, save, dress well, achieve high value but beware of women who want to use you to climb into status, women who could destroy all that has been achieved and obtained.
It was a message that resonated and he was hated for it.
Those rejoicing at his death serve to widen the schism between black men and black women and ensure the culture wars are also fought in Black America.
“Women like you die alone, straight up, because you think you’re better than the men you qualify for,” Samuels once barked at a female guest on his show.
If a partnership is going to endure, there have to be clearly defined roles. Many of Kevin Samuels’ detractors fail to grasp this.
The man is dead and delight should not be taken in that. He was not a mass murderer, a degenerate thief, an abuser of children. He was a broadcaster on a social media platform, a man with opinions on modern day coupling.
What Kevin Samuels knew to be true is what Richard Cooper has always said – “Women don’t care about men’s struggles. They hang out at the finish line and pick the winners.”
He had an acute understanding of the hypergamous nature and was on to it.
His was a message of accountability and he was reviled for it. Many don’t want to take accountability for the way they lead their lives and the consequences of what they do.
At the end of the day, many of these haters want everything but hardly have anything to offer.