When last did you go on a real date?

That’s right, you can’t remember because the culture in Jamaica is not to date.

The young women and men who have shared their experiences with me have shed light on an existing problem they face.

The current dating culture in Jamaica is one where people don’t actually openly date without judgement.

Young women who have spoken with me almost universally ask: “How can I date multiple people at once? Guys will call me ‘a hoe’ and so will other girls.”

Therefore, instead of spending time with the one you like for maybe a date or three, two people will rush to ‘hook up’, get comfortable with each other and then start hanging out.

That’s when they try to get to know each other, only to find out that ‘you are not the one’ or ‘there is no spark’.

Should people start to accept that it is okay to date more than one person at the same time, regardless of how small the island is?

“If Tom ain’t the one, Dick might be. Oh, Dick isn’t the one either? Well, let me check out John. Yes, I have now found the one.”

That’s how dating works – meeting people, going out with them, then chosing that one person who is the most suitable and compatible to pursue a more serious relationship.

But the current Jamaican dating culture is the reverse of what dating really is.

According to the ‘good ole’ Urban Dictionary, “dating is where two people who are attracted to each other spend time together to see if they can also stand to be around each other”.

To clarify, ladies and gentlemen, the aforementioned definition of dating suggests that individuals first spend time with others to find out out who they are most comfortable with, regardless of how many men or women they are currently ‘in to’.

This definition is challenging potential partners to just enjoy each other’s company without intimacy being the first option for getting comfortable.

This is the stage of dating where you get to know your potential partner.

Urban Dictionary: “If this is successful, they develop a relationship.”

With this mind, there is another thing that should be considered. Can you be in a “serious” relationship with more than one person at the same time? If so, it should be with full disclosure.

However, it would just not be a monogamous relationship.

I mean the dictionary doesn’t “spell it out” the way I do, but as the smart Jamaicans I know we are, you can read between the lines, right?

#AllCardsOnTheTable or #SoItShouldBe