The ‘other woman’, the one on the side, secret lover, matey, concubine, mistress…side chick, whatever title you give the third party in a monogamous relationship, having an ‘extra woman’ seems to be more mainstream than ever before.

Here are some of the supposed rules to follow according to some self-proclaimed expert ‘side chicks’ in Jamaica.

As Beenie Man put it in his hit song Gyal Inna Bungle, “The one burner business nah work again/ Cause one man fi have all fifty gyalfriend…”

But did we ever think that women would voluntarily be a part of the “bungle”?

If you said no, you may have some semblance of hope left for the trajectory of the covenant of monogamous relationships.

Yes, women are out here accepting the role of ‘side chick’, sometimes even requesting to be put in the once infamous position.

Throughout the centuries, this traditional category of women has influenced a set of unspoken rules that I have delved into the rabbit hole to uncover them for your consideration.

Disclaimer: Not everything on this list is regionally accepted, but the findings have been ‘corroborated’ by several sources (men) in the so-called “Side Chick Guidelines”:

• Never calls, always texts, and only text once.
• It’s never a date.
• Remember, he is not your man.
• You pay your own bills, (This one does not apply locally).
• Your friends are fair game (Not off-limits).
• You are never to sleep over.
• Opinions, keep them to yourself.
• Be prepared for plans getting cancelled last minute (wifey might need him for something)

• Do not fall in love.
• Do not get pregnant!
• Perform in the bedroom.
• If anyone asks…you deny it.
• Stay prepared for “wifey” finding out.
• Be quiet when he’s on a call.

These seem to be the most mentioned of all the lists I have read through, so I suppose these are some of the rules side chicks live by.

Now, if you are curious as to why some women latch onto men already in relationships with this many rules, two conclusions are often the listed denominators:

1. Financial assistance
2. They prefer to be the side chick and not the main hen.
3. It is less complicated
4. They don’t have to worry about being the one being ‘cheated on’.

Financial assistance is a requirement for most women entering into a side-chick agreement. From explanations of “times are hard”, “inflation is an issue”, “good men are hard to find” to “I liked him”, are just a few answers Jamaican women retorted as to why they chose to be a ‘woman on the side’.

Why be or have a side chick?

“For me, it’s the convenient sex without the strings,” Samantha, 28, said. “Having his affection, attention, his love…it seemed to me he no longer loved his wife and stayed for the kids and optics. He has me [and] everything else.”

“I fell in love, he treated me good… he’s never on his phone around me, and yes, he gave me money,” D’andra, 26, said. “He was also very good in bed, my hair and nails were always paid for by him, supermarket bill covered, and I could talk to him..he was always there to listen.”

“Having a side woman has to be of some sort of benefit. She affi can play role, add value to my life.” Errol, 58, said. “They are important…one woman alone can’t dweet. Just like King Solomon…every woman affi serve dem purpose… unity build strength,” Errol added.

Whatever the rationale, the notion that there is value in being or having a side chick is an idea some Jamaican men and women seem to agree with. The question is not if it is morally correct, because that would depend on who you are asking and their moral philosophy.

I asked Errol, Samantha, D’Andra and Joe whether or not they would prefer a world with or without side-chicks in it… guess what they picked?

They all chose a world with side chicks.