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From as far back as men and women have known the value of having a significant other, whether it be for love, sex, commodities, status or wealth, both have tried to entrap the opposite sex in relationships. But women reign supreme in the art of trapping men, and here is how I’ve come to this conclusion.

Delving into this discussion of why women are masters of the art of ‘Chopping’ or ‘trapping’, I will be looking at seven ways observed across the countries I have travelled to and the women I have encountered, using a few anecdotes throughout. 

Let’s be clear, I am in no way saying that women being better at trapping men is based on any scientific evidence, but data will be used to make other points.

With that being said, let us get into the nitty-gritty.

Sex

Both men and women enjoy being—and feeling wanted. They both like to know that they can elicit a sexual response from their partners. Now, if we are taking biblically, Eve executed the first recorded entrapment when she convinced Adam to eat the “apple”. Now, whether or not the apple was a fruit or a metaphor for sex is entirely up to how you interpret it, but my point is— she was his weakness.

Most women today use their own “fruit” to pull a man in. Picture a starving person being tempted by food, salivating at the mouth and heaving for air, locked in a trance as the fruit is dangled before him. This will go on for a while, till the woman decides you’ve earned the fruit— that could be day 1 or day 90, it’s up to the woman, but eventually, the man will be “Rewarded”.

Now the matter of whether the reward is good or not does play a role, which is why this only works for some women.

According to Psychology Today, men’s response to sex is primal, and they want to be satiated more often. “Yes, he wants to be full. But his sex craving is like a craving for chocolates: Each sexual episode holds the exquisite possibility of a surprise-filled confection.”

So, if a woman is good at the art of seduction—and sex… the possibility of trapping a man is heightened.

“Men are quite easy, just looks and body can trap them.” Sandra, 30, said.

“Sex, all men across the board, sex,” Daina, 26, said. “In my experience men are shallow, and depending on what turns them on, you can get anything from them.”

“You have some who are aroused by ambition, hardworking women, smart women, so if you have these things, add front [sex] and that is it,” Daina added. “It’s just too easy.”

Words of Affirmation

I’ve met many women who live by the code of “Tell him what he wants to hear”, and I never understood it until I saw it in action.

Some men have never received a compliment or given an ‘atta-boy’ for any accomplishment in their life, so when a woman comes along and seduces them with ‘sweet nothing’, pumping up their ego, and building their confidence. I’ve heard from some Jamaican women that this works wonders. 

“You have to make your man feel like a man,” Elizabeth, 56, said.

“[Give them] the love and affection that society/family doesn’t give them.” Ramona, 34, said.

What Romona said stuck out to me, since feminists have been trying to argue against toxic masculinity for many years now, just to get pushback from men. We hear “Men do not get enough love, care, and affection and they are not encouraged to show their feelings, lest they be seen as inferior ‘beta’ males,” and yet, as soon as a woman offers them a safe space to be themselves essentially, they open up, and depending on that woman’s intentions, you may or may not be getting trapped by the idea of being ‘safe’.

Emotionally Cat-fishing 

Now, based on a few interviews I couple have conducted the women, all from diverse age ranges and backgrounds agree that they can simply “become” whatever men want to appease them. In return, the woman gets whatever value the man has to offer.

Some have listed money, sex, status…even groceries on their list of “winnings” after cosplaying as the perfect girlfriend.

According to them, this metaphorical costume they put on, is stitched by the requirements of individual men, they would have to switch it up once they get a new man. 

The trick, they say, is to listen, ask about their ex, their likes and dislikes and channel them into a character that they would play for the duration of the relationship.

“If a girl set out for a certain man, she will play the part, be the girl that he needs.” Sandra, 30, said.

A Child

As Lexxus puts it, “Pickney nah hold man again.”

Or are they?

The tried and true, but kind of trope-ish given that men are famous for having kids here, there and everywhere.

Men are not too worried about getting girls pregnant, as can be seen with the rising population of ‘baby mothers’ or single mothers, as opposed to women being wives.

A baby won’t trap every man, but one may trap a ‘good man’. 

Unfortunately, good guys finish last in the race and if they are lucky, these men won’t be trapped in an unhappy relationship.

Some men, for the sake of maintaining a nuclear family and a sense of normality for their child, will stay with the woman they impregnate, and the women who use this ‘method’ already gauged the character of the man beforehand.

According to a study from the Journal of Family Psychology, fathers are keen on doing anything they can for their children.

This backfires more often than not, but I suppose women still appreciate their traditions— that, or they like the pain of being single mothers. In that case, she still traps the man for a minimum of 18 years and this may still come with the benefits of her getting sex, money and the man’s attention.

Now, am I saying all women do these things? No. But am I saying then the women who do, for better or for worse have mastered their chosen methods of entrapping men? Yes.

The worst of it is that men know the tricks by now, but they still fall for them. Are the women that good? Or are men simply forfeiting the game?